Two years ago, we (as kids) received one of the worst phone calls you can receive.
I’ll never forget it… We were eating dinner at Bandana’s, and Kevin’s phone rings. This rarely happens. It’s his youngest brother Kyle. This definitely never happens. I sit there eating while he picks up the phone, and I hear him non chalantly say “okay, well let me know”. He gets off the phone and just starts eating again.
My curiosity got to me and I asked what that was about. He literally looks at me and shrugs saying “they think my mom had a stroke”
Umm… Okay, what? I have a million questions, none of which he can answer, because he barely had a conversation with Kyle. I immediately give him about 8 questions to ask Kyle while I’m jumping out of the booth to get the check and to immediately call my mom. She would be able to help me understand how serious it is, because she could get to the hospital in 15 minutes compared to our 3 1/2 drive.
Kevin gets bare information from his second call which in hindsight was probably because there wasn’t much information coming out of Peoria. We finally got home, and then I called Kyle to find out she was heading into emergency surgery…right now. I hang up the phone, and just start packing a bag.
It’s actually quite comical the items I chose to pack in that time of panic…
- A hooded sweatshirt because in the middle of summer you need one
- An extra pair of underwear for each of us
- Prepacked toiletry bag… With conditioner but not shampoo
- An extra shirt for both of us
- Slippers… Again cause in the middle of summer you need them
Did I pack toothbrushes? Nope.
Did I pack makeup? No
Did I pack razors? Nada
Did I pack a hair brush? You guessed it..
There was no doubt in my mind that we had to get up there quick, so I just started tossing. We unfortunately weren’t going to make it there before the surgery started which was probably the worst feeling. She had a 30-40% chance of coming out of the surgery alive. Kevin didn’t even get to talk to her before she went in… Not that there was time for that, but it’s hard to replay the last conversation you’ve had with someone and not remember it.
The drive to the hospital was the longest drive, but we definitely made it up in about 2 1/2 hours. The night of the surgery was the longest night of our life, followed by the longest 48 hours (her survival rate was moved to about 50% then).
All four of the boys decided that Kevin would be the Medical Power of Attorney which on one hand made sense, but on the other, when it sunk in to Kevin of what that meant, my heart just broke for him. Paperwork was signed, because we still weren’t out of the clear yet. There was a long recovery ahead.
To see a family join together like they did during this time was pretty amazing as it unfolded. Darla was in the middle of moving, and so the boys (and significant others) all pitched in to clean, paint, unpack and setup the house. She had to have some place to come home to, but that also meant she had to have 24 hour care. Her surgeon wouldn’t allow her to travel all the way to St. Louis for the 24 hour care, but thankfully, Kevin and I were both able to work remotely, so that we could stay with her at home.
She progressed so much quicker than anyone expected, including the medical professionals and so they gave her the all clear to live on her own after only two weeks. She was literally on her own three weeks after having a major stroke and open heart surgery to fix an aorta dissection. Did you hear me? THREE weeks after open heart surgery where they literally unhooked her heart and rehooked it.
We bid farewell after those three weeks, and that was definitely one of the hardest things we had to do. But our life was in St Louis, and we had a big vacation planned the next week that we were told we better not cancel (we may have looked into that…) Being a caretaker in that manner changes a relationship forever, and honestly, neither of us were ready to go yet. But we were threatened, so we went.
It’s always during a time of trauma that “what ifs” come out, and the one that Kevin couldn’t let go of is “what if she never visited Germany”. We knew we had to figure out how to get her there, and so this trip was born. For almost two years, Kevin and Darla have been talking about and planning this trip together. Like clockwork, Kevin calls his mama every Sunday afternoon to check up on her and talk trip details. When he discovered the school in Savenay, he couldn’t wait to call Darla to tell her. Watching their relationship change has been pretty incredible… My husband has always been sweet but he has quite the soft spot for his mama and I love seeing that.
She raised Kevin to be the man he is today, and I can’t imagine him any other way. So thankful to have her in our life still supporting us and cheering us on in whatever life choices we throw out.
Today we made it to Germany… After delayed trains, running (and I mean running) through the metro station to catch a connector, and more delayed trains, we made it.
After having open heart surgery and a stroke, Darla ran with us, up and down the stairs. Who ever would have thought that was possible two years ago?
